Whisky Lovers
by kakikidawn.housesflower
Summary: Why must people hide, turn the other cheek to what their feelings? The heart is fragile to those closest to, sometimes putting up a wall is your only choice. But sometimes, letting that wall crumble into pieces, is the best thing for you. S.7-ish. Post Break-up. I OWN NOTHING! Huddy!
1. Christmas

Why must people hide? turn the other cheek to what their feelings? For two people, that's all they knew. She was scared, he wasn't there; not in time anyway, and not when it counted. So she fled. He did a stupid thing, all humans's do, right? He was afraid to let her in and become more broken than he already was. Now he's a broken shell, that was once called a man, even if all his pieces were scattered when she found him. What would happen if all the card's were laid out on the table for the world to see?

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...(Cuddy's POV)...

_Another shot of whisky please bartender  
Keep it coming til I don't remember at all  
How bad it hurts when you're gone (na na na)._

Cuddy sat in her office with a clear glass in hand and one leg draped over the other. Staring through the brown blinds, watching the snow fall onto white blanket's that already covered the New Jersey road's. Lite by the dimmer of street light's. A half empty bottle of Jack Daniel's, laced with a red ribbon sitting on her desk. She downed the rest of the amber liquid in her glass, as the round clock on her wall chimed eleven in the evening, Christmas Eve. The whiskey was meant for _him_, she knew how much he loved it, but she couldn't bring herself to give it to him. Even if it was a harmless gift, it would mean something. Something neither of them could hide. She set the glass near the bottle and sighed deeply. Muttering '_Why am I such a fool?' _into the dark silence of nothingness.

_Turn the music up a little bit louder  
Just gotta get past the midnight hour (uh huh)  
Maybe tomorrow it won't  
Be  
This  
Hard  
Who am I kidding?  
I know what I'm missing. _

She put the cap to the bottle back on, putting the bottle into her large black bag, as she picked it up and draped it over her shoulder. Picking up her cell off the desk. The desk _he'd_ given her. '_Damn him! Why'd he have to ruin what we had?_' she cursed herself, knowing she was partly to blame. Dialing the number for a taxi, she left her office. The freezing wind hit her skin like knives. She sat on the cold concrete outside the hospital doors, waiting and thinking. The snow fell on her, covering her red coat with white feathers. She let a short smile trace her face, as the yellow cab pulled up. She got in and gave the man her address, she mind racing of so many thoughts. Thought's of_ him_.

_You  
I had my heart set on you  
But nothing else hurts like you do  
Who knew that love was so cruel  
(Yeah yeah yeah)  
And I  
Waited and waited so long  
For someone to never come home  
It's my fault to think you'll be true (yeah yeah)  
I'm just a fool  
(Yeah)._

She got home, fumbling for her keys, her acrylic nail's slid across the silk ribbon. She closed her eyes. Finding her keys she put the key in her door. She opened the door. The twinkling light's of the Christmas tree lite her living room. It was her first tree. She never would've got one, if Rachel hadn't had begged her until her little lips turned blue. She collapsed on her side to the couch, pulling her knee's to her chest. Grateful that her mom took Rachel until the morning. She looked at the lock on the wall, 11:37. She took a deep breath in. '_They'll be here at seven' _She thought to herself. _'Six_.' She thought, _'Six hours to wallow in my own pity_.'

...(House's POV)... 

House sat on his leather sofa drowning his thought's in a glass of Whiskey. He threw the glass at the wall, piece's landing, covering his baby grand. He breathed in the scent of his hands, as he buried his face into his palms. He knew that everything bad in his life, everything that had gone wrong, was his doing. And undoing. He knew even if he got on his knees, she'd never forgive him. He couldn't ber to lose her. The thought of her not being in his life killed him, the thought of her not being on this anymore broke his soul. What he had left of it. He loved her. Loved her more than he'd ever love anyone. He even loved Rachel, Cuddy didn't think so but he did. He even told Rachel that once, it was their little secret. He took another drink of the bitter brown liquor. '_Fuck the Holidays._'

_I said that I don't care  
I'd walk away whatever  
And I tell myself we were bad together (uh huh)  
But that's just me trying to move on  
With  
Out  
You_

_But who am I kidding?  
I know what I'm missing._

House laid down, his heavy head resting on the leather arm. Glass resting on his chest between his two large pec's, hand around the crystal. He watched the flames in his fireplace swirl like two dancer's. The crackling sound and dancing flamed figure's, pushed him into a sleep. A sleep that _her_ beautiful face and memories invaded. The way they invaded his space for the past twenty year's. A tear pushed it's way past the barrier of his eyelid's down his flushed cheek, a memory escaping with it.

_Hey  
I had my heart set on you  
But nothing else hurts like you do  
Who know that love was so cruel  
(Yeah yeah yeah)  
And I  
Waited and waited so long  
For someone who never comes home  
It's my fault to think you'll be true (yeah yeah)  
I'm just a fool._

Cuddy sat on the floor with her back to the couch, watching as her two year old ripped the sparkling silver wrapping of her gift's. Her mother was in the kitchen pouring herself, yet another, glass of spiked egg nog. Babbling on about how "We're Jewish and Jew's don't celebrate this ridiculous holiday." Cuddy tuned her out, she was just enjoying her happy faced daughter in the light of their Christmas tree. She hated that she was never able to celebrate Christmas, she was always jealous of her friend's when she was a kid. She wanted different for Rachel. Cuddy didn't want her daughter to miss out on anything. There was a knock at the door. Cuddy stood up and slowly made her way to her front door to answer it. Just two gift's stood on her door step, she looked around no body and no car's. She picked up the _Frosty The Snowman _themed wrapping gift's and went back inside and sat back in the spot from before. No signature. The large box just read "_Rach_-", as the smaller one read. "_Love, Always_" She looked at the note with an puzzled expression.

_For holding on to something that  
Is never ever gonna come back  
I can't accept that it's lost._

Rachel crawled onto her mother's lap. "Is one of those for me?" She asked, with a beaming smile.

"Here." She pushed the box over to Rachel's side, in between Cuddy's leg's.

"Who's from?" Rachel began tearing at the snowman on the red paper. She opened the box, her tiny body almost falling in, head first. Cuddy caught her by her waist.

"I don't know sweetie. What is it?"

Rachel pulled out a large fluffy brown teddy bear with a eye patch. "House!" The little girl smiled, and starting jumping on her mother's thigh. "It's from House." She held the bear tight to her chest and closed her eyes.

"Wha-" Cuddy quickly opened her gift. It was a pearl necklace that she'd been wanting for a couple years now but could never afford. She told House about it over a year ago. "He remember." She mumbled out loud.

Rachel ran to her grandmother, holding out the teddy bear. "Look nana. From House."

"Give me that Rachel." Arlene told her granddaughter. "You don't need that. I got you a nice fluffy white one."

Rachel took a step back from her grandmother and gave her a mad look. "No!" she screamed. "House."

Arlene walked around the couch to her daughter. "You let him give her a gift?"

"They were on the doorstep."

Rachel came and sat on her mom's lap once more, settling her back to her mom's chest. "I miss House." Rachel murmured into the back of the teddy's ear.

"I know Sweetie." Cuddy's heart was breaking.

"If you let him back into your life, your an idiot." Her mom spat before leaving.

Cuddy sighed and inhaled the smell of strawberries coming from her daughter's short brown hair.

"Can we see House?" Her daughter looked up at her with her big chocolate eyes.

Cuddy ran her hair through Rachel's hair. "No honey."

"But it's Christmas." Her daughter's face sank.

"I know, but we have our own plans. Uncle Jimmy's coming over later to have dinner with us, and you haven't even finished opening your present's from Santa." She tried talking her daughter out of it.

"But I have a present for House." She pouted.

Cuddy lifted an eyebrow. "You do?"

Rachel nodded ran into her bedroom, running back with a piece of paper. She sat down on her knee's next to her mom. "See."

Cuddy grabbed the paper and observed it. It was a drawing of Rachel and House holding hands. Both dressed as pirates, well that's what Cuddy assumed. Her daughter was only two after all. With the words. "_love you. Rachel._" with a heart. She smiled, wanting to cry. "This is great baby. Love all the colors."

"House will like?"

"I'm sure he will. I'll give it to him when I see him at work."

Rachel snatched the photo from Cuddy. "No, me. Now!"

"Rachel, no. It's Christmas. We spend Christmas with the one's we love."

"I love House!" Rachel screamed running to her room, slamming the door shut.

Cuddy sobbed into her hands.

_I should have let it go  
Held my tongue  
Can't fight the motion  
Cause now everything's so wrong  
I'm thrown._

After Cuddy calmed down, she wiped the tears away. She walked into Rachel's room, to see her little body collapsed over the bear, crying.

"Rach." Cuddy spoke in a soothing tone.

"What?" Rachel muttered.

"We can see House."

Rachel sat up, with wet eyes and a large smile. "Really?"

Cuddy nodded. "Only for a little bit, we have stuff to do. You can give him your gift and then we have to go."

Rachel hugged her mom's neck. "Go." She grabbed the picture and bear and hoped of her bed.

Cuddy took a couple deep exhales, and followed her eager little girl. Who was already by the front door with her jacket on and was putting on her boots on the wrong feet.

_I'm just a fool  
A fool for you  
I'm just a fool._

Cuddy pulled up in front of 221B, the green door haunting her.

"Hurry mommy." Rachel wiggled, trying to take off her seat belt.

"Wait Rach." Cuddy turned off the ignition and got out.

She helped Rachel out of her car seat, once her tiny feet hit the sidewalk, she was off. Running up the few steps, knocking on the door. Cuddy caught up with her, just as House answered the door, stunned.

"Hey." She gave him a awkward smile, her hands on Rachel's shoulder's. "Merry Christmas."

"House!" Rachel hugged his good leg. "Merry Christmas."

House patted the back of her head. "Hey kid."

Rachel ran in.

"Rach." Cuddy called over House's shoulder.

"Want to come in?" He asked opening the door a little.

"Sure." Cuddy silently walked in. "Rachel wanted to come and say thank you for her gift and give you one in return." She watched as, Rachel made her way onto the couch. She shook off her white from her pink pajama's, kicking the now from her pink boot's. "Sorry." Cuddy pointed at the snow that feel onto his food floor.

"It's fine." He hadn't taken his eyes from her. "Did you like your gift?" He asked shyly.

"You shouldn't have bought it."

"House come here." Rachel ordered, patting the cushion next to her.

He limped to the couch, sitting down in the middle of the couch. Rachel made her way on top of his lap, minding his leg. Rachel became aware of his leg, whenever she crawled on him. Her little arms made their way around his neck, she kissed his ear.

"I miss you."

"Really kid?"

Rachel nodded, still hugging him. Cuddy watched, as her ex gave her child a one arm hug. She closed her eyes, then made her way to them. Rachel sat back down on his left thigh.

"I love him." She hugged the bear.

"Glad you like it." He looked at Cuddy from the corner of his eye, as she sat on the left arm of the couch.

"Arrrgh." She made a pirate sound pointing at the eyepatch.

"Arrrgh!" House said back, covering his eye as well. "I thought you'd like that."

"I'm going to call him House."

Both Cuddy and House eyed her.

"Why?" House asked.

"When I miss you, I'll hug him."

Cuddy turned her head and wiped a tear away. House noticed the action.

"What am I going to do when I miss you?" House asked, her sarcastically. He did miss her, although he wasn't even sure why himself.

"This." She grabbed the paper from her coat pocket and gave him the drawing.

He unfolded the paper, his heart twisted. "Thanks kid." He looked at it carefully. "Are we pirates?"

"Bloody Scallywag!" Rachel covered one eye with her tiny hand.

House laughed.

"Rachel!" Cuddy gave her daughter a stern look. "What did I say about that?" She sighed. "We need to be going."

"No!" Rachel wined.

"Put on your coat." Cuddy said, standing up.

_I had my heart set on you  
And nothing else hurts like you do  
Who knew that love was so cruel  
(Yeah yeah yeah)  
And I  
Waited and waited so long  
For someone who never comes home  
It's my fault to think you'll be true (yeah yeah)  
I'm just a fool  
I'm just a fool  
I'm just a fool._

He walked them to the door, Rachel didn't want to let go of his hand. He opened the front door.

"Remember are secret?" House asked, before releasing her hand.

"Yep." Rachel smile and nodded.

"What secret?" Cuddy asked.

"House, mine." Rachel said, then turned her attention back to the tall man. "You too." She hugged House's leg.

Cuddy shook her head. Watching her daughter skip happily to the car. She turned to leave.

"Cuddy."

She turned and looked at him. "What?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. Merry Christmas."

"You too House." She walked away.

She heard him shut the door. She got Rachel into the car seat, and then got into the driver's seat. She sighed pulling her cell out of her pocket. Typing something real quick, she tossed her cell into the passenger's seat and drove off.

His cell phone vibrated on the coffee table. He opened the text. "_You shouldn't have but thank you. I do love my gift House. Thanks for remembering_. _Merry X-mas_." He typed back, "I remember everything Cuddy. I'm sorry. - House."

_It's my fault to think you'll be true  
(Yeah yeah yeah)  
I'm just a fool._

**Continue?**

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Hope you enjoyed the first chappy! or the last. Depending if you guys liked it.

Song:"_Fool For You_" by Christina Aguilera ft. Blake Shelton :D


	2. Rockin' New Year's Eve

It was the New Year's Eve hospital party. House was working late in his office. He groaned when he looked at his watch, 11:27 pm. He took off his reading glasses, when a skinny blonde came in, he looked at her in shock. She long leg's shined in his office. She wore a black v-neck dress that ended right below her knees. It was tight fitting, showing off her curves.

"Now you'd be the last person I thought I'd see at this thing? I thought you were in Chicago."

Cameron smiled at him. "I have a convention in Newark, I thought I'd come and say hello to everyone. Plus, when Cuddy heard I'd be in town she forced me to come to the party."

He tried to ignore the name, he sat back in his chair and gave her a smug smirk. "You just missed me."

She sat across from him, following his body language. "Oh, yeah House. Always." She held up her left hand, a diamond sparkled in his desktop lamp light. "So, much I got married and had a baby."

"What's hubby number three's name?" He grinned wider.

"Gregory." She gave him a side smirk.

He furrowed his eyebrows.

She laughed. "It's Blake."

"Shelton?" He joked.

"No. Although he's a good looking guy. Zeberman." She answered.

He just laughed.

"What's so funny?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"That's a horrible name. Allison Zeberman... just horrible." He laughed harder. "So what's your son's name? Ziggy?" He teased.

"No!" She wrinkled her nose at the name. "Mason."

He shook his head, with a smile. "Right! So what are you doing now?"

"I'm the head of Immunology at Northwestern Memorial Hospital."

He nodded. "Where and when's this 'convention' at?" He hand quoted convention.

She rolled her eyes. "Tomorrow morning at Newark Beth Israel Medical Center."

"Hmm."

"You don't believe me." She shook her head.

"Not at all. I think you just miss your old lover." He grinned.

"Lover?"

"Chase."

"He was my husband." She moved her head side to side. "For a minute I thought you were talking about..."

"Who?"

She tilted her head to the side, and arched her brows. "Don't play dumb."

"I hardly say having sex once would count us being titled 'lovers'."

"Once?" She chuckled.

"Okay ten times." He tilted his head. "Maybe twelve."

She laughed and shook her head. "I would ask you if you were coming down for the party, but I know it's _still_ not your thing."

"You'd be correct."

"It was nice seeing you House." She turned, and walked out.

"You too." He watched her leave.

After a few minutes. He looked at his watch again, 11:53 pm. He sighed. He got up, putting on his coat and limped down the hall, getting in the elevator, he went down the to main floor. When the doors opened, he took a step back into further into the elevator, the lobby was packed. He grumbled before getting out of the steel confinement. He pushed his way past doctor's, nurses, and spouses. He spotted _her_. Cuddy. Dressed in a olive green dress, strapless, the front making a V, it fit her, flawlessly. She stood next to nurse Clarissa or Marissa, either way, he didn't care. And doctor Hoffenstein, how he hated Derek Hoffenstein. Young, good-looking, tall, he came from a wealthy family. He was a good guy and good doctor, at least that's what other's thought. House shook his head standing on the other side of Cuddy. He watched her tense up.

"Hey Derek, can you go get me a cup of punch." He held up his cane. "Bum leg and all."

"But it's almost Midnight."

"Thanks." House smirked.

Derek looked down at Cuddy. "Would you like one?"

"No thanks." She shook her head.

11:59. House gulped, as people began to count down.

10...9...8...7... House saw Derek getting punch, and turning back toward's them... 6...5...4... He was getting closer. House's hands began to get sweaty, He looked at Cuddy, she eyed him from the corner of her eye. 2...1... "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" people shouted at the top of their lung's, including Cuddy. House grabbed and kissed her. Ignoring the sounds of cheer's, noise makers, and firework's exploding outside. Derek stood ten feet from them, he handed the glass of punch to a near by man, and left. The kiss grew more passionate. At first, she tried to push him away, but it was too intense for her to resist.

He pulled away, staring at her, her eyes still shut. "Happy New Year Cuddles." He whispered against her mouth.

She opened her eyes, and back out of his arms. "Why'd you kiss me?"

He took a step back suddenly ashamed. "Because apparently I'm a moron." Both were silent for a moment. "You know why."

She held back tears, and disappeared in the swarm of people. He stood there, a minute passed, before he limped for the automatic doors. He walked into the chilly air of December, or rather January. It hadn't snowed in days, but there was still snow on the ground. The snow crunched under his sneakers, as he made his wake to his bike and rode off. He drove fast, through the slushy street's of Princeton. He arrived home safe, slamming the door behind him, he threw his jacket and keys on the left side of the couch, before making his way out down the hall. After going bathroom, he laid on his bed, feeling like a complete fool. '_Why do I keep doing this to myself_?' He asked his conscious in the warm apartment air. He passed out. Hearing a knock on the door, he heard the a couple loud knock's on the front door. He looked at his alarm clock, the red digital numbers read, 2:03am. He sighed, it was silent, then a more quieter knock. He got up, wobbled down the hall without his cane to the door. He opened it, nothing. He stepped out on the front porch and say a figure walking to a familiar car.

He squinted his eyes in the black night, snow finally fell hard on the New Jersey sidewalks. "Cuddy?"

The figure turned around, and took a few step's closer. "Hey." Her voice was barely there, he could tell she's been crying.

"Come in? It's really cold out here."

She nodded and made her way past him, into his place. He followed her and shut the green door behind him.

"Can I get you anything? Coffee?"

"No thanks, I won't be staying that long."

"Oh. Okay."

She couldn't stand that sad puppy dog look he had. "Maybe one cup."

He held back a smile, he nodded. "Coming right up. Sit." He limped to the kitchen, he came back in. "So..."

"I'm sorry that I just walked off earlier, it's just..."

"I'm an idiot." He finished her sentence. "I never should've kissed you. Not that I regret it, I don't, I just." He looked at the lines of his wood floor. "Am an idiot." He whispered.

"Yeah." She whispered back.

He looked at her. His blue eye's pouring into her grey one's. The crackling sound of pouring water into a pot stopped their trance.

"Still two creamer's, one sugar?"

"Always." She gave an awkward smile.

He smiled back. He poured them a cup each, his plain black. He walked back slowly, handing a cup to her. She took it, and he sat beside her.

"So, what's your new year's resolution?" He asked her suddenly.

She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe, to spend more time with Rachel, and less at work. You?"

"I don't make them."

"Of course not." She wrapped both hands around the cup, and blew at the top of the steaming liquid.

"The only time I did, it worked. But than it failed. Miserably."

She looked at him puzzled.

"Never mind."

"Tell me." She took a drink, smiling. Perfect.

"Last new year's, I was drinking... with Wilson. He was passed out on the bathroom floor..."

She chuckled.

He looked away. "I swore that I'd tell you how I felt, and make you mine."

"Oh." That was all she said to that. "So, you're not going to make one this year?"

"Why should I?"

"The last one that you made came true, didn't it?"

_Logical_. He shook his head. "Yeah, and if you remember, it didn't end well."

"Yeah. Well maybe if you try real hard for something, set a goal, and _work_ at it. Who knows what this new year will bring."

"Are you saying that..."

She interrupted him. "I'm saying... never say never."

"You sound like a horrible Justin Beiber song."

She laughed. "Oh, god. I hope not."

"Well fortunately, you have a better voice than him."

"That's _really_ saying something." She laughed.

He smiled.

"I should be going." She put her half full drink on the coffee table and stood up. "I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"Okay." He nodded.

She left. He headed back to bed, cautiously hopefully.

**To Be Continued...**


End file.
